Well, that was interesting. Not sure if you’ve ever been on a cable news channel before, but here’s how it goes:
Unless you happen to be in NYC (which I was not), you’ll be appearing via satellite. Fox News has a studio in downtown Chicago for just such appearances. So… you get up REAL early, wash your face, shave extra carefully, wear something TV friendly (not black or white or patterned or striped) and then drive an hour downtown. You park in a really expensive parking garage, then go to the building housing the studio. You try all the doors, only find them all locked because it’s 7:30am on Saturday morning. So you fumble for your itinerary, find the contact number, and call. A young intern-kinda guy comes down and let’s you in, and takes you up to the studio on the 5th floor. He turns on the TV in the green room so you can watch Fox News while you wait.
You notice a big Dunkin Donuts box on the table, and think, “How thoughtful!” You open the box to find mostly crumbs, and a few sad-looking leftovers. It’s the donut box from the day before. Oh well. You had toast and peanut butter before you left home so you’ll be fine.
The makeup lady comes in, and asks if you’re “Dr. Phil.” Clearly you are not, so you explain your connection with Veggietales. The makeup lady freaks out. She loves VeggieTales. Her husband loves VeggieTales. He’s a Chicago cop who draws Christian comic books in his spare time. She covers you with makeup. No one is allowed to go on TV unless they’re covered with makeup.
After 10 minutes with the makeup lady, the intern-ish guy comes and leads you into a small, dark studio. It is all black, except for a set of windows that look out over the Chicago river and skyline. Pretty! Most studios like this have a big poster of the local skyline behind you – but this one has the real deal!
You put on your mic and your earpiece and sit in a canvas director’s chair. Suddenly a voice crackles in your earpiece – “this is New York – can you hear me?” You feel a little like an astronaut. “Yes Houston… I read you loud and clear.”
Levels are checked, and then you sit quietly staring into the dark, waiting for something to happen. You stare at a camera lens about 10 feet away in the dark room. You remind yourself to think of the lens as a smiling host. Smile back at the smiling host/lens. Nothing happens. Your smile gets tired. The lens isn’t giving you any positive feedback.
You drift alone in space… staring at the lens in anticipation… waiting… waiting…
And then, BOOM! The Spongebob theme song is playing in your ear – piped into your space capsule. A voice introduces you as “Dr. Phil Vischer.” Ah. That’s why the makeup lady was confused. They think I’m a doctor. No time to ponder how they came to think I was a doctor – they’re asking me to explain how Spongebob is bad for kids. I start talking, and about 10 seconds in they cut me off. Oops. 10 seconds is apparently the limit. They ask someone else to explain why Spongebob is actually GOOD for kids. A voice crackles in my ear – a woman – explaining how fast-paced shows like Spongebob teach kids to process faster. They come back to me. I rebut. Keep it short. They quote from Nickelodeon’s statement on the issue – a few more words, then… Silence.
It’s over. You are once again drifting in silence in your space capsule over the Chicago river. The intern sees you out – the makeup lady hands you two handy wipes to clean off the makeup – and one of her husband’s comic books. Your first thought, as you hit the street, is… “What just happened?” The appearance was a blur. You made a few points, the lady in your ear made a few points. You had about 100 more points you had wanted to make – points you had rehearsed in the car on the drive downtown – but you can only do so much with two 10 second chunks.
In hindsight, the experience is a bit like being dropped from a hot air balloon with a stranger, and being told you need to debate a complex issue in the 12 seconds before you hit the ground. Like something they would do on one of those strange, Japanese game shows. “Discuss the bailout of Greek banks! Go!! (one thousand one… one thousand two… one thousand…) Too slow!! You dead!!”
And it is over.
So… Spongebob Squarepants got me on Fox News, where I grappled with the weighty issues of kids media with a woman in my ear while falling from a hot air balloon. Curious experience. And kind of fun.
You should try it sometime.
I really wanted to see this, so I went and found the video on Fox News. Here it is for everyone: http://video.foxnews.com/v/1165447121001/spongebob-dumbing-down-our-kids
Thanks for the peek behind the scene. It sounds like everything I imagined and I’m glad you found it curious and kind of fun. You may try it again sometime when you have the chance, I shall decline should I ever be so “fortunate” to be asked.
“Spongebob is very, very helpful in critical thinking.” ?!? Oh, help me, please… I’m laughing so hard I can’t get any breath. I can’t believe the woman in the debate said that. Wow.
Phil, you did a great job in the interview. They didn’t give you enough time.
That’s really fascinating, Phil. I’ve just watched the clip…
I’d be really interested in some of your other points you would have liked to make on FOX news. Maybe you could write a blog post about this in the near future as it’s still fresh in your mind?
I guess there must be some sort of trade-off between making fast- and slow-paced shows? Just wondering because if we produce 1970s type of shows they won’t be able to compete in today’s world…
It’s always interesting to hear people practice the sad old saw, “If I repeat it enough times, they will believe it.” I enjoyed Veggie Tales in part because they required thought. WITB follows that same pattern. On the other side of the spectrum are things so painful to watch that I feel the urge to grab a sponge and hold it to my ear in order to prevent my brain from escaping in a dribbling mass. Spongebob comes instantly to mind.
To suggest that critical thinking is increased by this excruciating drivel (fallaciously labeled as being “for kids”) holds approximately as much intellectual honesty as the idea that feeding a child nothing but sugar through a straw should make the child “think faster” than those kids whose parents exhibit a modicum of sanity by refusing this concept.
Whenever someone uses the phrase “very, very” (or alternately uses “clearly” two or three times within a few sentences), their factual data tends to be demonstrably lacking in both value and veracity. That a news network attempted to use you as a foil to this individual is no surprise, although your revealing that FOX not only clipped your discussion wings but set them on fire by focusing on extracting a pair of 10-second sound bites comes as a sad statement regarding the massive fanbase of the horribly-drawn and executed Mr. Cube-Trousers.
In short, anyone pushing Spongebob as an valuable influence in creating our next generation of rocket scientists has less chance of making a valid argument than Michael Of The Minivan.
Well, Dr. Phil 🙂 I think your blog post (which I read before I watched the clip) is far more enlightening than a fast paced television clip that seems designed to get people all worked up for no reason.
While I’ve always known not to believe everything you hear (especially on TV) this makes it way more clear. It portrayed ‘Dr.’ Vischer as the one who came up with this scientific study in the first place. (I’m assuming you didn’t.)
Furthermore, because they don’t give either side nearly enough time to speak their piece, you come away with the feeling that someone in TV land is trying to impose their views on you, without giving you enough information to determine your own opinion.
However, I am quite settled in my opinion that cable television is a waste of money and valuable time. I think I’ll stick to friendly puppets that walk you through the Bible, and, more importantly, reading the Bible for myself. Because that’s the only way to keep yourself from being sucked into a false point of view.
So, thank you, Mr. Vischer for providing yet another learning lesson for me – even if it was inadvertently.
Wow, sounds like a whole lot of energy put into something that may have FELT insufficiently impactful. But I think you did a great Job Phil and I thank you for being willing to go to great lengths to speak (even for a moment) about what you think is right.
As far as the news goes, I don’t think anyone was “wronged”. Each side was given a chance to speak concisely about their views and make their main points on the subject, and if you ask me I’d say the contrast in the presentations alone was enough to convince most people: Phil made excellent use of the short time he was given by calmly pointing out scientific studies and making valid points, She on the other hand, well… She couldn’t think of the word “radio”. 😀
I just watched the segment on Fox’s website, and, I have to agree with you completely. It seemed to me that the woman on the left accomplished nothing more than to repeat her first and only point twice while you delivered two crucial points in such a short time. They should have let you talk for the whole segment; you clearly had a lot more to say! Unfortunately, I don’t think we will ever see the last of that little pea-brained whatchamacallet and his rotted fruit house under the sea…
Love your humorous approach to things – shows in your work. After watching the video can see why you came up with the analogy you did!
Hello Phil,
I am sure you get a lot of people trying to contcat you to pitch you new ideas. However, my son Maxwell will like to send you a thank you card. He is nine years old and has learned a lot from “Larry and Bob.”
Sincerely,
Julio Valera