In case you haven't heard, Howard Stern is leaving radio. Well, not exactly leaving. He's moving from traditional radio to newfangled satellite radio, the kind of radio very few of us currently own. Why would he be doing this? First and foremost, because his show will be subject to less FCC scrutiny on satellite. His creative opportunities will be wide open. But secondly, because a satellite radio company has offered him a five-year deal worth $100 million a year.
Yes, that's right. $100 million a year. Not $1 million. Not $10 million. $100 million. Each year for five years.
Now, to be fair, that money also has to cover the production costs of his radio show. So you've got a producer, a sidekick, maybe an intern or two. Perhaps a part-time engineer or attorney. And then there's the snacks – donuts, bagels, bottled water. But even if he's a generous employer and spends $1 million per year on overhead, that still leaves him with $99 million. Each year.
So, you might ask, what amazing skill does he possess that warrants such a windfall? He talks dirty. He has a potty mouth. That's his skill. That's his talent. When his mother asked him why he wasn't focusing on his homework as a young boy, he said, "But mom, I don't need to study because I'm going to make $100 million a year talkin' dirty."
When I think back to my days in the boys' locker room in junior high, I remember lots of fellas who could talk dirty. Some that were even amusing when they did it. If they only knew the value America would one day place on males who successfully retain they're potty mouths into adulthood… whoo! Boy, did they miss the boat!
Is it just me, or is it a pretty good sign that we've collectively lost our minds when an 50 year-old juvenile delinquent is rewarded with a salary 100x greater than our foremost brain surgeons? 200x greater than the President of the United States? 2000x greater than the average American family, where, typically, two parents each work harder than Mr. Stern on any given day?
Is it just me, or are we losing it?
Oh, by the way. The Olsen Twins made $23 million last year.
Don't get me started.