So they sent pictures of the supposed "cougar" tracks from the park where I jog to the experts at the Brookfield Zoo, who declared the mystery beast was "not a cougar." When asked what it was, they said, "We don't know."
I'm thinking that might be even worse. We don't have a cougar on the loose in our local park, we have a "mystery beast" on the loose in our park. It could be anything! A wild boar! A rabid giraffe! An emotionally unstable pygmy hippo! Who knows what is lurking out there in the bushes… waiting for me to jog by…
I also found out that our editor, Bill Ebel, actually reads my blog. He was quite excited to hear that I bequeathed our new camera to him in case I got taken out by the cougar on my next jog. A little TOO excited, if you ask me.
As I headed out for my run this morning, a woman I passed on the street called out, "Are you hunting for the cougar?" Wheaton has gone cougar-crazy. Of course, now we know it isn't a cougar. It's a mystery beast. If I see it on my next jog, I won't know whether to make myself look large, play dead, or run away in a serpentine fashion.
Stay tuned for more updates on the "Mystery Beast of Northside Park."
Everything else is going very well here… we're very, very busy preparing some fun stuff and fun announcements. Stay tuned for that, too!
Well, surely it’s not an escaped falcon from Wheaton North … Maybe a tiger that’s wandered up from WWS?
Slithering away in serpentine fashion, definitely. Highly recommended.
Haha, that’s too funny. You should have Buck Denver talk about the cougar on his show.
Well, we haven’t seen Bigfoot up here in the Northwest in a while…
You should check to see if the Perry Mastodon has escaped.
Clive and Ian go hunting for the mystery beast…. LIVE!
i hope it’s not barney the dinosaur, still angry about not getting any money in the lawsuit.
just remember… if it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey.
Look! A Cougar!
No, wait. That’s a water buffalo.
My fiance and I were planning on living in Wheaton…maybe its time to re-think that. 🙂
Perhaps it’s a cebu?
Maybe it’s a liger. I understand they have magical qualities.
Maybe you should take Bill with you:
Phil: “Hey Bill, wanna go jogging with me today?”
Bill: “But what about the liger? If we see him, do you think we can outrun him?”
Phil: “No, but I’m pretty sure I can outrun YOU!”
Or a manatee?…. maybe a landliving manatee?
Hmmm… It’s unidentified and it has strange tracks. Well, I’d say it’s either Sasquatch or an illegal ALIEN.
its Buck Denvers stalker!
I think if you see the velocicougar you’re supposed to remain perfectly still. It won’t really save you but sometimes they’ll let you off with a warning if you don’t make them chase you.